To stand in front of
You all
A bunch of University students
Judging, laughing, being there,
Me in front of you;
And you in front of me.
Observing each other.
I'm completely scared
To let myself being the real me
In front of you all,
To say something
About life, about literature,
Which is my life,
About something I like or dislike
About a word,
An English one,
His changes over time,
In front of a classroom.
I'm completely scared
To be on the spotlight
Whatever the time it'll take.
Completely scared,
To express myself
In my second language,
The one I don't master yet.
With French at last,
I can convince myself
That my pronunciation is the right one.
I'm completely scared
To be unjustly marked,
Because I am an introvert.
How can I amaze you
If you put me in the worst situation I can be in.
I'm scared
To be unjust
With you all
By begging "I don't want to do it"
By begging "Please, I don't wanna get sick over this
Ugly and scary thought anymore."
I don't wanna be ridiculized...
I'm freaking scared,
But what can I do?
I'm completely scared,
And till the end of the semester,
I'll be,
Till I'll be standing
In front of you all,
Begging for understanding,
Begging for you to understand me,
And for me to be understandable,
Despite my stammering,
Despite my shakiness,
Despite my blushing.
- I swear I'll not explode in tears,
But I'm scared. I really am.
Remember it
When
In front of you
All,
I'll stand.
Before strangers,
That I would never had talked to
Unless you would have talked to me
For help,
Or just to be friendly,
I'll stand.
But now,
All I know is that I'm completely scared,
And that all this shit is unjust,
Because you are the one
With the skills to do it,
And not me.
